COMIN' IN HOT (Welcome to Leo Season! Owning your Needs) by Adam Cerny

COMIN’ IN HOT (Welcome to Leo Season! Owning your Needs)

By Adam Cerny

Video + Facebook post can be watched HERE 👉🏻http://bit.ly/2JZyfWB👈🏻

✚ Regardless of what society or your parents taught you: LOVE IS NOT ABOUT SELF-SACRIFICE.
➣ Love is about finding a “win-win” scenario. For any party involved in the relationship, love is about the accommodation of each other’s best interests. Love is about facing incompatibility when no win-win exists. This is not solely dedicated to romantic love - this encompasses all types of love - since, all there is IS love. Love is integration; love is oneness.

✚ There’s a deadly trap inherent in all of this.
➣ Let’s talk about our “best interests”, our needs, and how to meet them. Best interests are your own personal needs. In fact, the terms “best interests” + “needs” are synonymous, for the sake of this message.
By not owning your own best interests, you make it literally impossible to have a relationship. Why? Because you make it LITERALLY impossible to have your best interests accommodated. So - by NOT considering your own best interests, you make a “win-win” scenario, impossible!
If you disown your needs (don’t think you’re THAT self-sacrificial), you will STILL directly + consciously (or unconsciously) take care of them. Your only option, because you can’t get rid of them, is to meet those needs in a MANIPULATIVE way. Since we inherit ancestral trauma, if this pattern of disowning our own best interests runs deeply enough, then we’re going to meet those needs + interests in the most damaging way.
➣ This is how it will happen: You will unconsciously manipulate to meet your best interests through the pity you get from being “the victim”. You will turn everything around you into the “bad guy” so that you see yourself as “good”. And, so that other people will see you as “good”. You get the kick-backs of being “the underdog”, even when you actually aren’t.

✚ If you disown your best interests, the NICEST person on the PLANET can be forced to play your “zero-sum-game” that they never even knew they were playing, and therefore, never would have wanted to win, even if they knew they were playing it!
➣ What’s a zero-sum game? It’s this: “I win, you lose. Or…I lose, you win. There’s no in-between.” A zero-sum-game offers two options where one person will always “lose”…and it never considers the third option of accommodating everyone’s best interests.
➣ I’ll be honest. It’s absolutely terrifying to go from being a person who learned that to be a “good person”, you have to be selfless + disown your best interests…to BECOME a person who considers owning them. Even THOUGH it’s terrifying, even THOUGH you want that “perfect relationship”, you must begin to own your best interests.
➣ You must communicate them from the get-go; not years later. When you do not express your needs in the beginning, and retroactively punish someone for not meeting them, that’s when you know your life is really going to hit the fan.

✚ I’ll let you in another secret that I tell my clients.
➣ What is love? Love is considering the needs + best interests of another person, and taking them as your own. This is a reciprocal act. Therefore, if you + I are taking each other’s best interests + needs as our own, it will be impossible for us to hurt each other without completely damaging ourselves.
➣ Try this out on yourself. Today. Right now. MEET YOUR NEEDS. Get to know them. Create SPACE for them to exist. Find ways to accommodate yourself. I promise you - unless you know how to meet your needs, you’re never going to find anyone in perfect alignment to meet them for you. And for those of you who think someone “saved you”….while that notion is wonderfully romantic, what ACTUALLY happened, is that you saved yourself.
➣ No matter what you do in your life - do it, coming in HOT. The cold will freeze + eventually shatter. Welcome to LEO season, where the element of fire in your natal chart is going to come in useful. Get to know your elements.
That’s how you “self-love”. It’s not about forcing yourself to love yourself SO THAT “something” can happen…it’s not about faking it till you make it…it’s about sitting in the authentic space of who you are…which you never have to apologize for.

Why? Because I SAID SO…THAT’S why.

Welcome to Leo season! 🔆🌞
Peace + Love! ✌🏻☮️❤️🕉 

Thank you so much for reading!

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-Adam xoxo 

JULY 2019